perspective of experiencing life in its eddies!

As a trivial person, I never thought my ideas matter much. I always live in big cities where flows of traffic know nothing about me, and I do not care whether anyone knows me or not. Since a long time ago, shortly after I started to ponder about life, I was convinced that the universe is without a purpose and life is meaningless. I tried a bit to endow some meanings to life, as most of people do, but quickly it vapors and becomes "why bother?"

I never have any intention to publish anything, and that now blogs and the ideas on them are all over the map, as they should be, from humans live entirely embedded in self-generated illusions and delusions of feeling inflated if (s)he blogs something. To assert MEANING, it is the attempts to assert meaning that we get a reason to wake up every morning. I have been reluctant to wake up in the mornings. I am simply do not want to lie to myself and insist that absolutely nothing means anything. My logic of reasoning works that way, and I am too timid to work around it, and I felt into the depressive existential angst incessantly.

Recent thoughts start to deviate. The life and meaning issue could have many perspectives. Objectively, logically, the aforementioned emptiness is the most approximately right I have, but on the other hand, if I view it subjectively, from a personal experience perspective of participating and appreciating life and its eddies, meanings rise.

I do not bother to find the meanings of life itself, but meanings originated from the realization of life experience. Cheers, perspective of experiencing life in its eddies!